Monday, July 17, 2006

The Aliens have returned me

Obviously I have not blogged in awhile, if anyone is paying attention to that sort of thing. At first I thought I was just slacking off or too busy, but it dawned on me that I must have been abducted by aliens. It makes sense if you think about it. They may have harnessed the technology to travel great distances, but I have yet to see one website designed by them. Perhaps they have designed sites but lack the Search Engine Optimization skills for us to find the pages. They may have advanced weaponry and the ability to communicate telepathically, but how will they destroy the Earth if they do not have a website to get the word out and a blog to share thoughts on how to best accomplish their goal.

And that's where the
flashbacks start. With the help of a psychologist friend of mine and the science of hypnotic regression we were able to recover some of my memory and give us insight to the extraterrestrial conspiracy. In my first recalled memory the e.t.'s seem especially pissed off that seemed to be the home of a tax preparation company. They want to know how to invade the site and take their domain name. As I explain to them that it could be a challenge, I black out. My next memory begins with an e.t. asking me to tutor him on some web design software. I agree and we head to some kind of alien computer lab full of Macs. When I started laughing at their "advanced technology" I remember being hit with some kind of mental power that knocked me out. (Side note: I still don't understand how they got here with Macs. I don't see how they had enough power to get off the ground, but it does explain how in 50 years only one has crashed.) My other recalled memories all revolve around Search Engine Optimization, and obviously I appeased the aliens with my trade secrets (Sorry Tam & Cody). I'm sure we will see whatever domain they choose be the number one result for every keyword in the world right before the invasion begins.

Just a heads up to other
web design teams out there. To my knowledge I never assisted the alien's with any layout and design skills. They may be coming for you! My suggestion is to not know anything about Macs. That is also the solution to save the earth! We must find a way to crash their Macs, before they can get their site online!

There you have it, my one and only
Orson Welles tribute post. Seriously though, I am alive and well and if you want to be number one for your search term, give LogicMaze of Hutchinson, Kansas a call today!


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